Can You Feel the Hunger?

Alright, sooo I’m one of those people that enjoyed reading about young adults pitted against each other to the death. I mean who wouldn’t want to see children slaughtering each other. Well, okay sooo some people probably wouldn’t want to, but that’s not the point. My point for this is to show you how the movie added up to the amazing book by the name of Hunger Games. I know minions you’re probably saying to yourself, “I’ve read one review that means I’ve read them all.” Well, you haven’t read mine which mean s you’re in for a delightful treat!…At least, I believe it’s a delightful treat covered in sugar and chocolate syrup!

We begin the story of Hunger Games with a girl named Katniss Everdeen. Personally, I don’t understand who would name their child after a plant, but I guess that’s the norm in a world ravaged by starvation and isolation in things called Districts. All in all it’s a downright downer and made me think “what’s the point” while reading it. The beginning’s pretty boring and it was a struggle to get through it. This girl can usually devour books, but it was difficult with Collins writing style and the simplicity of it. Throughout the gore and the grim setting as the “games” get underway, it makes me squeamish and hard to discuss through means of writing it. It’s like reliving the most horrible moments of wars passed in your high school history class. All in all the games had me on the edge of the seat and I finished the book within a couple of days. Personally, this is one I would say watch the movie before reading the book. The book just can’t compare to the awesomeness of Jennifer Lawrence and Donald Sutherland.

Now, the movie showed things that the book hadn’t ever dreamed of showing. There was action that was creeptastic giving me goosebumps. Sure, Donald Sutherland doesn’t seem like he could play a villain looking similar to a nice grandpa that would give you chocolate, but I feel he portrayed the President of the Capital with eerie grace. The relationships seemed more real and the actors of Peeta(Katniss’s boytoy)and Katniss seemed to really grasp the meaning of awkward romance while fighting to survive in the wilderness with kids dying all around them. My one beef with the movie was the fact that the mutts(crazy genetically enhanced monsters) weren’t really horrific like I had expected them to be. Yes, they jumped in my face while watching and scared the bejeebus out of everyone in the theater, but honestly, I was more afraid of them in the book than in the movie. Even the hallucinator hornets were a bit boring though the movie made it LSD-happy. In the end, the movie was delicious and I ate every morsel of it happily. Hell, I saw it in theaters twice. Even if you hated the books horribly, you should give this a watch.

So, here’s a taste of the hunger that is Hunger Games. I hope you got a spoonful of this cake and enjoyed it as I have. Now, I’m going to go fight my brother so I don’t starve until next time my devoted minions!

Sparkling Virgins vs. Hot Sexpires

It seems recently every woman’s dream is finding the right vampire for her. Ha! Okay, so this is a bit much seeing as vampires don’t exist(that I know of…if you know one, send him my way), but I just thought I would get in on the craze and have it out of the way before it makes my mind explode. Yes, I’ve been a huge fan of all vampire series since I was young nerdling, but really…one that hasn’t been a member of the craze may ask “What’s the big deal?” Well, I’m here to help answer that question. At least, I hope I can with my knowledge of things vampiric.

On one hand, you have the brooding male vampire that sparkles in the sun. Let’s just call him -cough-Edward-cough-, he’s every girl’s knight in shining armor ready to protect her from ne’er do wells and the like. Instead of a screaming fangirl, he chooses a “homely” girl by the name of Bella. She seems to be the most insecure human being that has ever existed. Being completely honest, I just don’t see why when the hottest thing since sliced bread chose her to be the “love of his existence.”  Throughout the entire series, Bella and Edward’s shenanigans have girls everywhere squeeing and hoping for the same romantic story in their lives. Even middle-aged women have come to like the amazingly gag-worthy cuteness that is The Twilight Series. Fortunately, the series is coming to an end and most of non-fans won’t have much to catch up. Yes, Edward is lame for sparkling and yet there’s something endearing about the way he watches Bella slumber as she dreams of creepy real vampire Edward that actually has fangs, which the vampires in Twilight don’t have I might like to add. Twilight has nothing on fairy tales but still has a ridiculously happily ever after. This literary connoisseur enjoyed it more than she liked to admit, but I think everyone should give it at least a once over especially if you think the movies are crap .

Now on the other hand, we have vampires well more like sexpires…since it seems all they really care about are drinking blood and having sex with innocent mind-reading faeries. Yes, the vampires of True Blood seem to have taken over the minds of the older generation with their seductive attitudes and the smoldering look in their eyes. These sexpires have panties dropping with boyfriends just shaking their heads. These vamps do have fangs and though they may be brooding they certainly do know how to treat a girl right. Which what girl wouldn’t want the affections of all the vamps in Louisiana? Bill Compton and Eric Northman both are the epitome of this sexpire. They both seduce Sookie Stackhouse(resident mind-reading cutie) like it’s nothing and fight for her attention. Blood, sex, and violence seems to be the main storyline for this loving series, but this nerdist definitely enjoyed the television series even though she just started reading the books. So far, I believe that it’s a good adaptation though I will hold my judgment on that later.

So, what’s the big deal you might be saying? All you’ve given me are a sparkling virgin and a few sexpires that enjoy pleasuring a young woman. This was more of a guide to finding your way through the vampire books out nowadays. If you prefer the blood and sex, most definitely pick up the True Blood television series. But if you’re a teenage girl that loves romantic love story and a happy ending, you should pick Twilight up…the book series not the movies because the movies were horrible compared to their literary companions. Sooo, pick a vamp, any vamp and let him fulfill your wildest dreams that you know couldn’t possibly happen in real life. I’m about to get lost in that world until next time my devoted minions.