Sparkling Virgins vs. Hot Sexpires

It seems recently every woman’s dream is finding the right vampire for her. Ha! Okay, so this is a bit much seeing as vampires don’t exist(that I know of…if you know one, send him my way), but I just thought I would get in on the craze and have it out of the way before it makes my mind explode. Yes, I’ve been a huge fan of all vampire series since I was young nerdling, but really…one that hasn’t been a member of the craze may ask “What’s the big deal?” Well, I’m here to help answer that question. At least, I hope I can with my knowledge of things vampiric.

On one hand, you have the brooding male vampire that sparkles in the sun. Let’s just call him -cough-Edward-cough-, he’s every girl’s knight in shining armor ready to protect her from ne’er do wells and the like. Instead of a screaming fangirl, he chooses a “homely” girl by the name of Bella. She seems to be the most insecure human being that has ever existed. Being completely honest, I just don’t see why when the hottest thing since sliced bread chose her to be the “love of his existence.”  Throughout the entire series, Bella and Edward’s shenanigans have girls everywhere squeeing and hoping for the same romantic story in their lives. Even middle-aged women have come to like the amazingly gag-worthy cuteness that is The Twilight Series. Fortunately, the series is coming to an end and most of non-fans won’t have much to catch up. Yes, Edward is lame for sparkling and yet there’s something endearing about the way he watches Bella slumber as she dreams of creepy real vampire Edward that actually has fangs, which the vampires in Twilight don’t have I might like to add. Twilight has nothing on fairy tales but still has a ridiculously happily ever after. This literary connoisseur enjoyed it more than she liked to admit, but I think everyone should give it at least a once over especially if you think the movies are crap .

Now on the other hand, we have vampires well more like sexpires…since it seems all they really care about are drinking blood and having sex with innocent mind-reading faeries. Yes, the vampires of True Blood seem to have taken over the minds of the older generation with their seductive attitudes and the smoldering look in their eyes. These sexpires have panties dropping with boyfriends just shaking their heads. These vamps do have fangs and though they may be brooding they certainly do know how to treat a girl right. Which what girl wouldn’t want the affections of all the vamps in Louisiana? Bill Compton and Eric Northman both are the epitome of this sexpire. They both seduce Sookie Stackhouse(resident mind-reading cutie) like it’s nothing and fight for her attention. Blood, sex, and violence seems to be the main storyline for this loving series, but this nerdist definitely enjoyed the television series even though she just started reading the books. So far, I believe that it’s a good adaptation though I will hold my judgment on that later.

So, what’s the big deal you might be saying? All you’ve given me are a sparkling virgin and a few sexpires that enjoy pleasuring a young woman. This was more of a guide to finding your way through the vampire books out nowadays. If you prefer the blood and sex, most definitely pick up the True Blood television series. But if you’re a teenage girl that loves romantic love story and a happy ending, you should pick Twilight up…the book series not the movies because the movies were horrible compared to their literary companions. Sooo, pick a vamp, any vamp and let him fulfill your wildest dreams that you know couldn’t possibly happen in real life. I’m about to get lost in that world until next time my devoted minions.


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